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Thank you all for your input to date; it's much appreciated and has made for a much more elequent opening.
A couple of you suggested adding the last sentence at the beginning, followed by a longish pause. I've not found a good way to introduce a big breath at the beginning without being redundant. Closest i've come is
For reference, the previous threads on this are, from most recent to oldest, here, here, here, and here.
( The final, or damned close to final, version. )
A co-worker who has been proofreading for me knew what liminal meant, but had to ask me what cyclic meant. Heh.
A couple of you suggested adding the last sentence at the beginning, followed by a longish pause. I've not found a good way to introduce a big breath at the beginning without being redundant. Closest i've come is
Good Morning. All together now, big, cleansing breath in…and out. Nothing clears the mind and focuses the body like a good, deep breath., which doesn't quite do it. I think repeating the last sentence at the top doesn't work either.Do you think it's necessary?
For reference, the previous threads on this are, from most recent to oldest, here, here, here, and here.
( The final, or damned close to final, version. )
A co-worker who has been proofreading for me knew what liminal meant, but had to ask me what cyclic meant. Heh.
