dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
It started on Facebook, where a friend posted a link about the recent outbreak of multi-drug resistant E. Coli in Europe, which in turn led me to The "Hellish" 7.2F Warmer World of Tomorrow" (that's 4C for those of you that use SI), which in turn led to a nifty video about brain fungus cryptococcus gattii came to live on Vancouver Island, BC.

ETA: Weird escapes and duplications in original post, not sure what happened there.
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
The procedure to break up the staghorn kidney stone went well. She's in a bit of pain, but is doing as expected. She has another x-ray on the 20th, and back to urologist on the 22nd. She may have to have this procedure again before he's willing to go invasive. Thank you all for your thoughts/prayers.
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
Banish Your Guilt Demons
By Stephanie Marston

Most of us are caught in a tug-of-war between who we think we should be and who we are; between what we want to do and what we're actually able to do. In other words, we're at the mercy of our guilt demons. Our feelings of guilt often prevent us from taking care of ourselves. First and foremost, we have to have realistic expectations. I'm talking about what you can reasonably expect of yourself.

Guilt is a major roadblock to taking care of ourselves. There's always a list of things that have to be done that takes precedence over attending to our needs. Then there's the fear of disappointing someone if you occasionally make yourself a priority. But stop and consider for a moment: when you put yourself last on the list and allow your guilt to run your life, the person that you continually disappoint is yourself.

Here are three sure-fire steps you can take to banish your guilt demons once and for all.

1. Recognize the kind of guilt you have and its purpose.
Guilt is an emotional warning sign. Its purpose is to let us know either that we've done something wrong or to help us confront our unrealistic standards. Guilt is productive and healthy when our behavior has been offensive or hurtful to others or ourselves. If we feel guilty for saying something offensive to another person, or for regularly engaging in 80-hour workweek at the expense of our family, that's a warning sign with a purpose. Your guilt is telling you to change your behavior or suffer negative consequences with your friends or family. This is kind of guilt serves a purpose. It is trying to help redirect your moral or behavioral compass. If we continue to ignore our guilt we do so at our own risk and with dire consequences.

However, guilt often arises even when our behavior doesn't need to be reexamined nor changed. For example, a lot of first-time mothers feel badly about going back to work part-time, fearful it may cause unknown damage to their child's normal development. That's simply not the case in most situations. Most children have a normal, healthy development, even when both parents work. There's nothing to feel guilty about, and yet we still do. This is known as "toxic" or "unhealthy" guilty because it serves no rational, productive purpose. This kind of guilt is based on unrealistic expectations and standards.

2. Confront your unrealistic standards and expectations.
Most of us have an idealized image of what good parents, career men/women, good daughters/sons, good husbands/wives or boyfriends/girlfriends should be--we are haunted by these images of perfection. Toxic guilt tends to place you in a perpetual state of self-doubt, causing you to constantly question your needs and motivations. Rather than confront the comparison between our idealized images and our actual self, many of us feel inadequate and guilt-ridden because we can't match up to our own impossibly high standards.

The toxic guilt that drives overwork and overextending yourself has one basic principle: You are not worthy of having time for yourself. You must work and produce or care for other to have any value. It's time to confront your demon by staring it in the face.

For example whenever you hear yourself saying things like, I must always be responsible, conscientious and giving to others. Or, I should never put my needs and myself first. Or, good employees never say "no" to their boss. Or, good employees always work overtime. Or, good parents always put their children's needs first. You know you're in dangerous territory. All of these statements are impossible to live up to.

This is when you need to get real about what you can actually do. We simply can't act more generously than we feel, give more than we have to give and continually push ourselves beyond our limits. It's time to adjust your standards to match your current reality and what you can realistically do.

3. Apologize and/or change your behavior.
If your guilt is healthy guilt-take action and work to remedy the situation. While many of us are gluttons for self-punishment, ongoing guilt interferes with our ability to reduce our stress and make time for what truly matters.

Keep in mind that it's easy enough to apologize to someone whom you've offended by a careless remark. It's a little more difficult to not only recognize how your 80-hour-a-week career may be harming your family and to adjust your work schedule (assuming that there were legitimate reasons for working 80-hours a week in the first place).

Accept and acknowledge your inappropriate behavior, make your apologies, and then move on. The sooner we "learn the lesson" the sooner our guilt will vanish.

Healthy guilt is one of those emotions that alert us to something important. There is usually a kernel of truth when we feel guilty. Focus on the guilt that causes loved ones or friends harm. But remember to keep a healthy skepticism in relation to your guilt.

Rather than simply succumb to your guilt demon, the next time you feel guilty, ask yourself, is my guilt trying to teach me something reasonable and helpful about my behavior? Or is it just an irrational response to a situation in which I have unrealistic expectations about myself and what I can do? The answer to that question will be your first step to helping you better cope with guilt.
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
Following up on this post, i went to the dentist this AM. The temporary crown failed, not the tooth! So new temporary crown, and good to go.

She also said i'm doing much better than expected, and am healing well. So, good news all around.
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
So, the root canal went well, temp crown was installed, scheduled to go back on the 1st for part 2.

The molar in question - #31 - had a crack along its length, dead center. Dentist went in, did root canal - very minor discomfort at two points in the process, temporary crown, good to go. Tonight, the tooth broke... (poss TMI) ) Called the dentist, whose first question was "Is there any pain?" - kudos for that - so far, no pain and they'll see me again at 09 on Monday. Wheeee! every other day with the dentist for nearly a week now. Hopefully they won't need to see me again on Wednesday. LOL
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
So, tomorrow, at 15:00 (GMT-4) i'm going to have a root canal and temporary crown on a molar.

Two extractions and bone graft and posts and crowns for two other molars are in the offing, though before that happens, two other molars need to be trimmed and capped.

A few cavities, and a deep cleaning in the short term.

That's that. No gum disease at all, which is good news, considering that aside from brushing and flossing, i've neglected dental care since 1986.
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
The disk on the Mac ain't spinning up, and it boots only to a grey screen. Until that is fixed, i'll only be online a little bit, with access to LJ and to Gmail and pretty much nothing else. I'll cactch up on my games when i can. Peace, yall!

In other news, i'm off to the dentist today to address an issue and develop a treatment plan. Wish me luck and send calming energy, if you please, around 18 GMT/UTC.
dcseain: (X is for Xerxes)
At 19:30 GMT-5, i sit for my Arabic Mid-term. I'm not terribly well prepared, and i've had a whopping 8.5h sleep in the last 48, and not from lack of trying. I'm kinda fried. After class, dinner at the 24h Korean diner on Hummer Rd in Annandale with [livejournal.com profile] tomhundleyrn. :) I'm looking forward to that.

When i got my hair cut, Fatima offered to help me study, and i'm going to take her up on it. I'd plumb forgotten that Arabic is her native language - i've only known her for 30 years, why would i remember that.

My goal is at least a 90 on each test for the remainder of the semster. Those two weeks being sick set me back a bit. Spring break won't be much of a break, as i'll be using it to play catch-up.

Um, hm. Oh, sick for two weeks. I think i mentioned i had Influenza B, which turned out to be concurrent with infections in my left ear, sinuses, upper respiratory tract, and a left molar. Weee! I'm hoping the azythromycin did the infections in; i'll know for sure in a couple days. Still coughing a bit, and it's still a tad productive. I'm doing much better though. Went for a hike on Monday and everything. Went for a stroll around the compound here at work earlier too.

Well, that's enough for now, i think.
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
I'm recovering from Influenza Strain B, one of the 60% of flu viruses not covered in the vaccine this year. I'm doing a lot better today, and hope to be near to fully functional by Monday. ¡Ojalá!

A suggestion about migraines from my friend bethn:

i know this will sound odd,but if the migraine is not one one th absolutely critical ones, ( mine tend to come in varying degrees), try putting feet in very hot water with vicks or some camphor/mentholated rub on temples. it seems to knock back the pain. if you were my russian baba, i'd tell you to tie an old rag around your head too. she swore by that

dr said there is actually some scientific value, the hot water draws blood away from head so not so much pressure
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
I had a very wonderful last couple of days. Let's go backwards, shall we:
  • Monday 2 Apr: Part 1 of interview for a job supporting ACE for CBP. Part 2 will be in Spanish, via telephone on Wednesday. Plus: it pays well, and comes with a Secret clearance. Minus: It's night shift, 19-7 or 21-9.
  • Sunday 1 Apr: Got home at 5, slept through church, oops, i was supposed to be there for the middle-schoolers, slept through a gaming session i'd RSVP'd yes to, and slept some more.
  • Saturday 31 March: I got to go to dinner at Lonestar with [livejournal.com profile] nosebeepbear, [livejournal.com profile] supremeherptile, and [livejournal.com profile] not_the_pope, i make a nice meal of sides there, and then i helped [livejournal.com profile] not_the_pope sink a bowling alley. My years of helpdesk experience actually aided nicely in figuring out how to do that. Later, [livejournal.com profile] scruffycritter joined us. Much fun was had by all. Somewhere in there, [livejournal.com profile] nosebeepbear and [livejournal.com profile] not_the_pope and i went to Giant for Chocolate, thanks to [livejournal.com profile] palmwiz.
  • Friday 30 March: Gaming [livejournal.com profile] chez_turtle YAY!
  • Thursday 29 March: Went to the [livejournal.com profile] nookery and visited and cooked with Marc, and got to spend time with the other Nookizens, too. (If you're not in the know, The Nookery is a house, inhabited by the 4 Nookizens, comprising 2 Nookerinas and 2 Nookerites; it's a very, very happy place.)

Cold mostly gone, as is the swelling in the throat - the steroids and rest and the humidifier and much water did their jobs. Um. I think that's all for now.


Mar. 28th, 2007 09:11 am
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
I awoke this AM with apparently swollen lingual tonsils. Should i see a doctor? Thus far, i can breathe and swallow, but it feels like i should cut for _possible_ biologic tmi )

No fever, no pain, i can breathe and eat; it's just mildly annoying/uncomfortable.

EDIT: I've an appointment with a doctor at 11:45 - the swelling is going up, and it's getting a bit difficult to talk. If swelling keeps going up, i'll go in sooner.
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
I got home about 30 minutes ago. Just as i stopped at the light at the end of the off-ramp from the toll road, clicking noises upon the windscreen. Sleet. Enough to have accumulated to the point of seeing wheel tracks and footprints by the time i went into the house. I'm hoping Reston's far enough west to avoid the freezing rain - we'll see. I'm guessing no church in the morning.

Why i was getting home at 04:00 )

On Thursday, i injured myself playing Wii Sports - i hurt my right shoulder and my left gluteus maximus. I got sports injuries from playing console games. Who'da thunk?

As a result of those injuries, and rehearsal Friday night, i hurt too much to go up the stairs, then slept - sort of - on the sofa. This morning, i ate a small bit, ached a lot, managed to get up the stairs, fall into bed, and slept through today's rehearsal.

I did get some ibuprofen after dinner tonight, which has helped a lot. I expect to be at tomorrow's rehearsal, assuming i'm healed enough for the dance numbers. :| No Wii for me until i'm better, and more carefully, obviously.


Dec. 15th, 2006 12:22 am
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
I'm tired of being sick. I can fix that, though. I slept most of today, and between that and the weird wakefulness one gets one taking oral steroids, i'm awake at the moment. Bleah. Probably will have to go back to doctor. At least the drugs have made the chest thing less onerous than it could be.
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
[livejournal.com profile] suecochran asked a bunch of excellent questions, to which i replied, in my gym thread. Your input is welcome. Please comment in the other post if you have something to contribute. Thanks.
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
[Poll #864400]


Nov. 5th, 2006 10:40 pm
dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)
I've had a chronic sinus/upper resp thing for some months now. It's flared up again this past week, as has a bizarre rash in my right armpit which also appeared last month at full moon. :| I've an appointment with an LPN on Wednesday for a blood draw, and will discuss both these with her then.

Saturday, i slept almost all day, which health-wise was a very good thing, but sadly therefore missed helping a friend pack and get things into storage, and missed gaming at [livejournal.com profile] badmagic's place. :( Saturday evening, at 18:30, i did put in an appearence, with 6 lovely wines, at a church dinner that i'd forgotten i'd signed up for until i got a phone call about it. That evening, i briefly stopped by the [livejournal.com profile] nookery and visited with the Nookizens, [livejournal.com profile] dmk and her hubby who were visiting from North Carolina. I went to bed early.

Today, i got to church on time, which was good, as today we had an ethnic Bengali Muslim from India visit our class, and who spoke to us about Islam from her experiences. She's also a school teacher whom some of the kids have had, which made for a pleasantly relaxed time. After that, i had a lovely time visting chez [livejournal.com profile] mergyeugnau, where i became re-acquainted with [livejournal.com profile] ruth_wielgosz, a very wonderful person whom i am thrilled to have run into again. I also made the acquaintance of [livejournal.com profile] karma_soupra there; he is most interesting, and i hope i get the chance to know him a bit better. I'm home now, and have been for a bit.

I'm fading VERY fast, and so hope this post is coherent. And somehow, despite my social interactions this weekend, i'm feeling empty, and totally emotionally drained. Here's hoping a good night's sleep rectifies that some.


dcseain: Cast shot of me playing my violin in role of minstrel in the Two Gentlemen of Verona (Default)

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