Summer 1986

[dcseain]

Twenty years ago, i was 15. On 18 June that year, my father was taken to the hospital for pneumonia. Seven days later he turned 41. My friends and i spent much of that summer at my friend Rami's house, because she had to watch her younger brother Shane while their mom was at work.

Each day, except Saturdays, on which i bowled, i'd walk down the big hill, halfway up the smaller one, around the corner plus a few blocks to my friend Elizabeth's house. There i'd cool off while we chatted. Then we'd walk the few blocks to the woods, through the woods, across the sewer pipe and up the small bit of hill to Rami's house. That was a good bit shorter than following the roads.

Each day when Ms. Cha[rlotte], Rami's mom, came home, she'd find a living room full of teenagers sprawled around, and Shane in the basement playing on the computer. Some days, we'd walk over to Potomac Mills to hang at IKEA, and sometimes we'd get ice cream at the Swede Shop in the store.

Middle August, i got my first job, a dishwasher at a restaurant called CJ's Café. It was near the AMC Theater, where the Burger King in Neighborhood 7 of Potomac Mills is today. School started on 30 August that year.

The Fairfax County Public Schools at that time mailed things to Father's Name, Student's Name address. On Friday, 4 Septemeber, i paused at the guidance office, explained that my father was ill and not likely to last much longer, and asked them to change that to my mother's name. I hadn't seen my father that summer after he was released from Prince William Hospital to Annaburg Manor, a nursing home in Mannassas. Seeing his name on the envelopes was more than i could really deal with at that time.

He passed on that Sunday, the 6th. I went to school on the 7th, let them know that he'd died, and that i'd be out for the next several days, but back on Friday. They looked a bit baffled, asked if i was okay. I said i was, and went off to class. Viewings were held Tuesday the 8th, afternoon and evening, and the interment was on the 9th, mid-day, at Stafford Memorial Park on Rt 648 (Shelton Shop Rd it's named now) in Garrissonville, VA.

And thus was my last summer of innocence. I knew i had an essay itching to get out today. Had no idea this would be the topic. Though it's been on my mind of late. I even pointedly went to, and much enjoyed, a cookout at leiacat and bfudlmint's place on his birthday this year, rather than my usual picnic at the graveyard.

Comments

[ftemery.livejournal.com]

Bittersweet - I'm glad you had such good friends.

[dcseain.livejournal.com]

Bittersweet. Not a word i'd've thought to apply, though i suppose it fits. It was all long ago at this point, and just kind of how things were. I'll think about in the context of that word; may be transformative for me.

[leiacat.livejournal.com]

It was good to see you that day. I am glad you enjoyed it.

[louiseroho.livejournal.com]

Now I'm going to have to post my summer of '86. I am slightly older than you. I was eighteen that summer and living on my own.

But thank you for this essay. It is evocative of connections in time.

Last Summer of Innocence

[anniemal.livejournal.com]

I was 10, and although our family was seriously dysfunctional, I regarded it as what families are. I did the usual things: read, play with dolls, build the dolls interesting furniture based on string patterns, tinkertoys, and erector sets, and ramble over the woods and fields.

Winter came, and on Christmas eve my father left us. I didn't mark it as a bad thing until later. He never fit in with us (Mom, me, Karl), but he was always the thing we had to oblige.

After that, our lives got iffy. I took care of all that I could.

I didn't finish Dad

[anniemal.livejournal.com]

He died about the time S_C and I were settling into one anothers' pockets,and he went with me to his funeral. In Owego.

He'd become an episcopalian. Ookay. The Bill Nelson I knew was a bigot. I sat down with my half-sister with her Indian husband and my black SO. And I laughed at the man we were supposed to be mourning.

I did not say anything remotely unseemly about the fact that his daughters preferred browns.

Re: I didn't finish Dad

[dcseain.livejournal.com]

I just saw your reply, somehow i didn't get notice of it. Thank you for sharing this.

Re: I didn't finish Dad

[anniemal.livejournal.com]

Glad you didn't mind. I just want others with aberrent, abhorrent parents to, if it's what they need, sever their ties cleanly, pick up their pieces, go on with life and feel whole. Or at least okay.

You are someone I keep expecting to meet sometime. No, not that way. We have friends in common and you often make uncommon sense. We should've met by now. Oh well.

Re: I didn't finish Dad

[dcseain.livejournal.com]

Whyever would i mind. This is an open forum, and you, or anyone else, is free to express themself. I appreciate that people are willing to share.

Thank you; uncommon sense is oft times the only sense i make. :)

And wow! Aside from the bolded people we have in common, i know the following people on your friends list: dglenn, keith_m043, maugorn, patches023, and supremeherptile. I'm rather shocked we've managed not to meet. Methinks we shall at some point need to rectify that.

Rectify that?

[anniemal.livejournal.com]

I live in Arlington. Ergo, you have the potential to be a geographically feasible friend. Aside from Susan up the block. (puffs feathers into comfortable place) Umm, How do you feel about large poodles as exuberant dogs? Jamie will greet you that way. He generally keeps paws off, but he will sproink. How do you feel about cats? I have one big neutered male sponge cat and Brent came with a skitty neutered female who only sort of doesn't hate me.

Do you like to cook? I am adapting to diabetes, so many things require that I cut fat and carbs to proportional levels with protein. I end up cutting the rice and adding frozen vegetables or leaves from my lawn. "Oh, I greened it up."

I know Reston has good restaurants, as does Arlington, but I seldom eat out anymore. Mostly because I'm cheap and if I'm going to pay for a dining experience, it better be good. And I don't regard good food as something I'm willing to gripe over not getting. I do know my way around menus, and can be polite, but in general it's not worth going to. I'm not much for dressing up. Or eating bad-for-me food at enormous prices.

I told you that because most people meet potential friends at a restaurant.
Saran is good. We've binged there. Long lunch buffet, if you get there early. Cheap. Vegetarian. High carbohydrate stuff, but fine for most, and I pick my peaks. Or we could do Chinese or Amercan Greek. Within ten minutes. I've checked them out.

Or we could cook. That's kind of intimate for a first meeting, But I love friends fiercely, after awhile. I used to take them camping. I live here now. English doesn't meet my needs for definitions of the varied types of love I have. It's okay because I know the differences, but don't get words to express them. Bleah. Shut up, annie. Okay.

Why is your background orange? Shut up.