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dcseainP1: "Happy Father's Day to all those fathers that are handling their business!"
P2: "And moms who are doing double duty!!!"
I saw that on Facebook. I agree with P1. As for P2:
NO NO NO NO NO! As many of you know, my father died when i was 15. It infuriated me when anyone suggested that now my mother would need to play both roles. NO! She is not my father, could not be my father, and should not in any way try to be so. NO!
IT is NOT the same. At ALL.
There is a whole world of support and understanding that no woman could have meaningfully supplied for me at that age. And for that matter, there's still myriad ways that no woman can support me and provide insight into various things at this point in my life.
I'm all for equality in society, respect and work. At the same time, i see use for separate spaces some of the time.
BUT no mother can be a father nor vice-versa, and i feel it is wrong of someone to purport to be doing so. There are, in fact, some things that are gender-specific, and textbook understanding, though good, is not sufficient.
P.S. Thank you, Ghassan, may you be peacefully in a better place.
ONE exception. I know a few women who were fathers. THOSE women can provide some of that support and insight, if they so choose, for they have lived it.
Equality does not equal sameness. And as most humans, i think, know, there are some things one wants to discuss with others of one's own gender, and that is not a bad thing.
P2: "And moms who are doing double duty!!!"
I saw that on Facebook. I agree with P1. As for P2:
NO NO NO NO NO! As many of you know, my father died when i was 15. It infuriated me when anyone suggested that now my mother would need to play both roles. NO! She is not my father, could not be my father, and should not in any way try to be so. NO!
IT is NOT the same. At ALL.
There is a whole world of support and understanding that no woman could have meaningfully supplied for me at that age. And for that matter, there's still myriad ways that no woman can support me and provide insight into various things at this point in my life.
I'm all for equality in society, respect and work. At the same time, i see use for separate spaces some of the time.
BUT no mother can be a father nor vice-versa, and i feel it is wrong of someone to purport to be doing so. There are, in fact, some things that are gender-specific, and textbook understanding, though good, is not sufficient.
P.S. Thank you, Ghassan, may you be peacefully in a better place.
ONE exception. I know a few women who were fathers. THOSE women can provide some of that support and insight, if they so choose, for they have lived it.
Equality does not equal sameness. And as most humans, i think, know, there are some things one wants to discuss with others of one's own gender, and that is not a bad thing.
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no subject
Date: 2009-06-21 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-21 07:13 pm (UTC)I am so sorry you felt isolated and alone and did not have someone who could understand and help with needs that clearly weren't being met by your existing support structure.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-21 07:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-21 07:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-21 08:29 pm (UTC)My dad died when I was 21, which was hard; I can't imagine what it would have been like at 15.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-22 01:31 am (UTC)Much to consider on what is liable to be my final father's day.